“A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.”

“My weaknesses have always been food and men — in that order.”

“Never eat more than you can lift.”

“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”

“Fun-sized Snickers? Who’s this fun for? Not me. I need six or seven of these babies in a row to start having fun.”

“After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.”

“I really don’t think I need buns of steel. I’d be happy with buns of cinnamon.”

“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.”

“The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you’re hungry again.”

“When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said four. I don’t think I can eat eight.”

“Nothing helps scenery like bacon and eggs.”

“Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.”

“Great food is like great sex. The more you have, the more you want.”

“My mom made me two dishes: take it or leave it.”

“I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.”

“You don’t need a silver fork to eat good food.”

“Spaghetti can be eaten most successfully if you inhale it like a vacuum cleaner.”

“Am I tough? Am I strong? Am I hard-core? Absolutely. Did I whimper with pathetic delight when I sank my teeth into my hot fried-chicken sandwich? You betcha.”

“First, we eat. Then we do everything else.”

“Snack time heals all wounds.”

“So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being.”

“One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well.”

“People who love to eat are always the best people.”

“It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.”

“Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper.”

“The more you eat, the less flavor; the less you eat, the more flavor.”

“He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.”

“You learn a lot about someone when you share a meal together.”

“Eating is so intimate. It’s very sensual. When you invite someone to sit at your table and you want to cook for them, you’re inviting a person into your life.”

“Laughter is brightest where food is best.”

“Food may be essential as fuel for the body, but good food is fuel for the soul.”

“Sorry, I’m in a relationship. With food.”

“I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge.”

“Eating my feelings, and they taste amazing.”

“Good food, good mood. It’s really that simple.”

“Life is short. Eat the good stuff first.”

“I’m not drooling. You’re drooling.”

“My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. I call it lunch.”

“Food is my love language. What’s yours?”

“Plot twist: I was the snack all along.”

“I like hashtags because they look like waffles.”

“Me: I should eat healthy. Also me: But what if I didn’t?”

“In pizza we crust.”

“All you need is love and a little bit of tacos.”

“I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.”

“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy food — and that’s basically the same thing.”

“Brunch without booze is just a sad breakfast.”

“Calories don’t count on weekends. Science.”

“The only B.S. I need is bacon and sandwiches.”

“Handle every situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.”

“I like people who love food. We get along just fine.”

“If you really want to make a friend, go to someone’s house and eat with him. The people who give you their food give you their heart.”

“Cooking is love made visible.”

“The secret ingredient is always love. And butter. Mostly butter.”

“Food tastes better when you eat it with people you love.”

“There is no love sincerer than the love of food.”

“You had me at “I made dinner.””

“Cooking for someone is one of the most intimate things you can do for them.”

“A recipe has no soul. You, as the cook, must bring the soul to the recipe.”

“I want them to bite into a cookie and think of me and smile. Food is love.”

“The most indispensable ingredient of all good home cooking is love for those you are cooking for.”

“Food is maybe the only universal thing that really has the power to bring everyone together.”

“Cooking and baking is both physical and mental therapy.”

“To me, food is as much about the moment, the occasion, the location, and the company as it is about the taste.”

“Good food is a language everyone speaks fluently.”

“Cook with love. Eat with gratitude.”

“Invite people to dinner. Feed their stomachs. Win their hearts.”

“The kitchen is where memories are made and love is always on the menu.”

“Home is where the food smells like someone loves you.”

“A family that eats together, laughs together, and cleans the plates together — stays together.”

“Feeding people is an act of love you don’t even need words for.”

“Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian. Wine and tarragon make it French. Soy sauce makes it Chinese. Garlic makes it good.”

“Cooking is like painting or writing a song. There are only so many flavors — it’s how you combine them that sets you apart.”

“Cooking is an observation-based process that you can’t do if you’re completely focused on a recipe.”

“No one is born a great cook. One learns by doing.”

“Real cooking is more about following your heart than following recipes.”

“The only real stumbling block is fear of failure. In cooking, you’ve got to have a what-the-hell attitude.”

“Cooking is like snow skiing: if you don’t fall at least ten times, then you’re not skiing hard enough.”

“If God had intended us to follow recipes, He wouldn’t have given us grandmothers.”

“Nouvelle Cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can’t believe I paid ninety-six dollars and I’m still hungry.”

“Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.”

“A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. If you let fruit rot, it turns into wine. Brussels sprouts never do that.”

“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat — that’s bad for you.”

“Tis an ill cook that cannot lick his own fingers.”

“Cooking is an expression that crosses boundaries.”

“Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast.”

“Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands — and then eat just one of those pieces.”

“Dessert is like a feel-good song and the best ones make you dance.”

“Desserts are the fairy tales of the kitchen — a happily-ever-after to supper.”

“Ice cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn’t illegal.”

“A party without cake is just a meeting.”

“Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.”

“Stressed is desserts spelled backwards.”

“I’ve never met a problem a proper cupcake couldn’t fix.”

“I don’t share blame. I don’t share credit. And I don’t share desserts.”

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”

“Chocolate says I’m sorry so much better than words.”

“Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you don’t need an appointment.”

“Everywhere in the world there are tensions — economic, political, religious. So we need chocolate.”

“Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate.”

“As long as there is chocolate, there will be happiness.”

“I’ve been on a diet for two weeks and all I’ve lost is two weeks.”

“The two biggest sellers in bookstores are cookbooks and diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it.”

“The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.”

“Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.”

“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.”

“Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks.”

“Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments.”

“Those who think they have no time for healthy eating will sooner or later have to find time for illness.”

“To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living.”

“Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health.”

“The food you eat can be either the safest and most powerful medicine or the slowest form of poison.”

“When diet is wrong, medicine is of no use. When diet is correct, medicine is of no need.”

“I want to have a good body, but not as much as I want dessert.”

“I’m not sure what makes pepperoni so good — if it’s the pepper or the oni.”

“I’m at the age where food has taken the place of sex. In fact, I just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.”